You Can Only Go Forward

It's my new mantra. Really I think it is the best way to live your life. Stop looking back and beating yourself up. Learn from what has been done but don't miss out on today because you are feeling bad about something from yesterday, last week or ten years ago.

So here we are with a new mantra and a fresh start. Let's focus on the positives.

• Everyone is healthy
• We have two solid incomes
• We have a lovely little house
• Everyone is healthy (worth repeating)

Things we are working on

• We are paying the equivalent of two mortgages a month.

 Ouch. Really. We are. If you take our mortgage that we refinanced to pay off quicker and the loans from our renovation we are really paying the equivalent of two mortgages. It sounds bad, but it is what it is. Well, we can only go forward. The payments are being made. We can eat. We are trying hard to save and pay things off as quickly as possible. We I am helping us to transition into a more frugal lifestyle. My transitions are subtle so as not to scare anyone. Sure I talk about it. I talk about everything. I am into my third week of not spending extra money. It feels great. I have been perusing tons of different blogs that focus on more extreme frugality to get different ideas on what people do and what works for them. Every blog is different, but they all have something to offer.  My current plan includes no more clothes for me for the rest of the school year. Baby steps. When it get hot we will see what happens.

Financially Grown Up

Drifting of to sleep last night thinking about why now, at this point in my life am I getting really serious about a real budget, real saving. I think I know. I am an adult. We are adults. In the past few years we have experienced some very adult things that make us even older than our years. It is time to get control of our situation, to know what is going on, and to make decisions that make sense.

Our priority is to pay the mortgage and renovation loans. We can, thankfully, do that. We don't have that cushion that we should, but we are able to pay those monthly bills. We have a few years before any of them are paid off if we do it traditionally, but I think we may know we can do it quicker with some hard work. A second priority is to eat. Unfortunately it is what we have to do, and we enjoy it. Activities for the kids are also important. Participating in sports keeps them active and allows them to try things that they may be able to continue with as they get older. Busy kids with good activities = less trouble and hanging out.

Those are really the main things we have to do. I did not include utilities, but they should be understood. Things that we never have to do are eat out, buy coffee (that is me, not not anymore), waste energy, gas, get nails done, go to salons, get hair colored, buy trendy clothes and shoes.  The list goes on and on. These are things that we have not been doing and do not need to do. Since the new year we have had almost all homemade meals, and we eat them together at the table. (Another important part of connecting with your kids).

With all this extra money hanging around we will get rid of the few small credit cards and start working on the loan with the biggest monthly payment. When loan is paid off it will free up so much money to pay other loans off.  It will be AMAZING to pay those bills off.

In the past week, since I started my no spending zone, I am happy to say that I have not spent any extra money. My purchases were groceries only. No coffee, no lunch out Friday, no shopping, no nothing. It feels great. I also found a free site that will help me keep track of a budget, and it is free. I can't wait to get paid and plug everything in. That way I can send the extra money to a bill.  One final thing I did last night was to up my weekly savings transfer to $50.00. It was not much more than I was putting in, and it felt good to increase it. The money is there. We can do this.

Getting a Handle on the Grocery Budget

Our grocery total for January was $676.41. That total feeds two adults and two children in elementary school.  The thrifty plan, according to the USDA is $648.80 for our family. Not bad. There is one receipt I don't have from when my husband picked up bread.  We are still under $700.00 for the month. I shopped this Friday, but since it was January 29th I put it at the beginning of February's spending.  I am tracking our monthly grocery costs on a spreadsheet to see what we spend per month, if it is enough and how to potentially tighten it up. Believe me when I say that my spending took a lot of additional work. I did a lot of cooking, planning, and baking.  For the most part we shopped weekly and avoided too many midweek trips to the store.  I ate the majority of leftovers for work lunches.  We utilized almost every bit of food we had.  I thought we had done well, but we still spend more than I would like to spend per month.

February is a short month. We are already at $112.74. If I aim for a $600.00 total for this month I still have $488.00 dollars left to spend. This month also includes a vacation week that we are all home to eat, eat, eat, as well as the fact that I will have class once a week until May and not be able to make dinner that night. That means I need to have something already made with instructions or something frozen ready to go. My plan this week is enchiladas that I hope to make. If not I have frozen raviolis as a back up. It will prevent a weekly meal out that I am really trying to avoid.

Personal Spending Update

 I have not spent any extra money this week. No coffee, no shopping, no nothing. I feel great!

Strange Timing with Sadness

It has been two months since my father died. Lots of strange things happen when someone dies. Throughout the whole ordeal I have just felt odd. That is not clearly articulated, but it is all I can come up with. December was bizarre with the constant stream of holiday cards and sympathy cards coming at the same time.

One night after work I got the mail and was sorting through said assortment of sympathy and holiday cards. A card with half a return address jumped out at me.  There was no name, but I knew that address. It was a friend with whom I had parted ways with 13 years ago.  We had a falling out of sorts. It does not matter now. Slowly I opened the card. She had heard about my father's passing and sent me a card. In the card she had written a great deal about how sorry she was to hear about my father. It was overwhelming to get this card from someone who had seen so much of my father when we were growing up.  It made me think about what has happened in our lives in the past 13 years. What we don't know about each other and how we have moved on to our own worlds.

Five weeks have past since I received that card. Tonight I learned that this same old friend lost her mother Sunday. I am in shock. The sadness I feel for her family is indescribable. I have some lovely memories of her mother and feel terrible for her father. I am taken aback by the timing of both incidents. How do two people who were friends for so long and then not, lose parents in the same time period. It is coincidence? Is it fate opening a door to reconciliation? Do I reach out? I know, given how things have happened, that I will send a card? Do I offer further support or the willingness to listen. I don't know. I am overwhelmed with sadness.

No More Spending

There are so many financial wizards out there trying to help you create a budget, pay off your debt, and get smart about money. You can buy that sandwich, but budget it. You can get that new purse, but budget it.  Yes and no. I have read many books and blogs about not spending as much money, but the concept of not spending ANY extra money is pretty amazing to me.  I think it may be the thing that saves us.

What does it mean to afford something? The old me (from the other day) thought if I had the money in my checkbook I could afford it. That is so not true, and I think I knew that. I just needed a wake up call. I am awake now, and am ready to live my new life that cares less about stuff and more about freedom. The freedom that comes with having some money.  It will take us many years to get there, but I am convinced we can do this.

With my new mindset I have eliminated coffee and take-out from our lives for now.  I do have a gym membership, but I will get reimbursed for the first two months and use it until the spring. Once the weather is good I will freeze it until the fall. There is no need to pay for the gym when I can walk in the world. Duh!

For the next month I am going to keep track of every penny and spend nothing on ridiculous items like clothes I don't need, make up, or new books.  My daughter needs winter boots, so that will be one purchase. Other than groceries, child care, and paying for kids activities I solemnly promise to make no extra purchases that are not necessities for any reason. I think this lack of spending will show me how much extra money there really is when I don't blow $2.00 here and $40.00 there. That money will go toward my first bill that I am paying off and hope to pay off very quickly.
  

So I Read the Blog that May Have Changed My Life

Strong title, but I think it may be true. In searching more grocery budgets and ideas I found this blog that has a sarcastic yet funny way of explaining how people need to get it together with their money. I read several posts over the last few days and am hooked.

This doesn't mean that I will run out and cancel my cable television (my other half would never agree and I probably would miss it too), but there are so many things he mentions that changed my thinking. I feel more motivation to push forward with some new goals.

This well known blogger saved most of his money and retired early. Yikes! This loser (me) has been spending all her life.

Some things that I have done well include hitting Super Cuts and coloring my own hair (for the past 6 months and forever after). That is around $30 to do it this way, but the salon would be over $100. Nice.
Manicures and pedicures have left my budget. They have left my budget. They have left my budget. Seriously I don't even want one and haven't had one a six months. When the spring hits I can soak my feet for an hour and figure something out. I have also done a great job (although a bit tiring) of shopping on the cheap and feeding us a fairly healthy diet without breaking the bank. That will continue as well.

Things that need to be eliminated include shopping in general, drive thru coffee ever. I really will never get coffee again. I promise.  Eating out (there may be a few exceptions like spending time with a friend). Tightening it up all around and kicking debt in the shins.

My first goal is to get rid of one credit card that is 0 percent interest and then a credit card with a piece of furniture on it that is 0% as well.  Then we can figure out what loan should be paid off next.

I have a plan.

Groceries for This Month

My total for January was about $500. That is awesome. Really I am quite excited about it. Also exhausted from spending so much time in the kitchen cooking, planning and organizing, but still quite pumped that I was able to feed us that well for what I spent. Part of it was participating in a pantry challenge on another blog. I certainly did not have the food supply that many people seemed to have, but it was a huge help.

Next week's shop will count towards February's spending. Another thing that really helped was all the coupons I was able to use. Great local store coupons that gave me $ off the end of my order. Two or three weeks in a row I have been able to get an additional $10.00 of my order. That is fabulous.

For this week I already planned and prepped dinner for tonight and Monday. I have a tentative plan for Tuesday and the rest of the week as well. We will see how it goes. Right now I have work to do, but I feel like I need a nap.