I have a few thoughts that I hope to share without being all over the place. Actually I don't think it is possible to not be all over the place, but I will try. Right now everyone is sleeping. It is 6:43 a.m. The kids have been so busy this summer. We had company yesterday and they were playing with their cousin for hours. They both went to bed late so hopefully I will have some more quiet time to focus and get ready for my day.
This morning started with my allergies. Wretched allergies would be the best way to describe them. Dust, pollen, wine, general breathing. Each day begins with a runny nose, and we ran out of Allegra. Also, I need to go an allergist while there is still time this summer. Have I actually called? Of course not.
My anxiety is about a five and a half or six out of ten. I am convinced it changes throughout the month and is very connected to my hormones. It is usually at its worst during PMS. I typically feel my best at the beginning of each cycle. What do I agonize over? Everything. My mind is a constant tornado of thoughts, worry, guilt, questions. At 41 I have begun to realize that a lot of it is my personality. Sometimes I let those little thoughts, worries, and obsessions, float around my head. I just live and get through. I have learned and continue to work on just letting them be there without getting too stuck on them. My allergies and I decided to sneak out of bed and do a little yoga routine. Nothing strenuous, just a very short morning yoga video (yes video)that stretches the body and awakens the mind. It was a good start to the day, and shockingly enough no one woke up to help me. I envisioned a four year old voice saying "Hi Mama" but he is still dreaming. Whew! So my quick yoga routine was helpful to wake me up. Here I am typing and I haven't even had coffee. I bought this set about ten years ago. I used to do it before work sometimes. What I really need to do today is blow through some cardio. My diet and exercise plan has not gone that well. I could whine, but life's too short. At this point I care more about health than being thin. I know there can be a connection, but overall I would prefer to be someone who worked out regularly and ate well and wore a size 12 as opposed to someone who was skinny but not healthy. For the record I don't wear a size 12, but I would be strutting my stuff if I did. The cardio workout is what helps blast that anxiety out. I promise I will do stuff, but then when I feel good it is so easy to put it off. I promise today that I will get in a cardio based workout. Now I need to start a new post.