Day One

Yesterday was day one. I have a couple of days to observe my job before I begin. Since it is a maternity leave there is no set date. I have about a week before things will go full time. It is a bit overwhelming, but I think once I jump in it will be great. I loved driving to work with the rest of world yesterday.

I almost have the job

So yes, I got the job. They offered me the job, my references were checked and I have had to share with a lot of people because I need to work out my child care situation. I still need to meet with the superintendent before it is final. So while I have told some family and friends I have not shared with everyone. For example, the people at my current job. Once it is final then I will make my phone call to my manager and work that out. I already have my last day planned.

Two minutes

I have two minutes before I need to go get my little boy. Today is the day that I find out about "the job". My head is spinning. I want the job; but I am scared to get the job too. I would love to try going back to work full time, but I worry about my little guy. I worry about me too. I have never wanted to get something so bad. I have not come this close and hope whatever happens it all works out.

My brain is in whirlwind

So I am in the process of designing a lesson that I will be teaching in 48 hours. This lesson will determine whether or not I get this job. If I get the job then I need to figure out the child care situation and try not too panic too much. If I don't get the job I actually have another interview, yes, another one tomorrow. This is a part time job; they just called today. So I have to prepare for the interview and continue working on my lesson plan and feel guilty about possibly leaving my three year old who will probably do much better than I will.

I really want this full time job. I am scared, but I really want it. I better work on my lesson.

I am happy

Regardless of the job situation swirling around in my head I feel truly happy right now. It is nice to feel content. It is not a feeling that I have that often. To just get up and enjoy your day, making the most out of your life, seeing joy on the face of my children.

I really want to raise joyful children. There are so many qualities I want them to have. I want them to be open minded, kind, accepting, willing to see that most people have a good side if you look hard enough. My husband and I share those qualities, and I hope we are able to share them with our children.

So here I am waiting

Yes, I am waiting. Both interviews are over. One position had me come back for a second interview, but they went with another candidate. The other position has me scheduled to teach a lesson later this week. It sounds like there are two of us. I have a fifty percent change of going back to work full time. I am terrified. Now I am scrambling for potential child care options. I promised myself I would not make huge changes to my children's schedules. My first option was to hire someone full time, but some other options are possible too.

Obviously I need to get the job first. There may be no need to worry, but I want to be prepared if I do get the job because it could be a fast turn around. I just want my own children to be happy and content. It may be weird for my little one to not have me around as much.