Friday, June 26, 2015

Behaving Poorly

Yes, I did this. I behaved poorly today. And for this I feel bad. Really really bad. One reason I feel bad is that my children were witness to it.  I did tell them later that I was upset and I should have been calmer. Another reason I feel bad is that a stranger that knows nothing about me probably thinks I am a jerk.  Finally, instead of enjoying this gorgeous June day I am feeling guilty.

It's the last day of school for the kids. Their normal routine is to go to an after school program, however, today they were to come home on the bus. This year they were at separate schools, but in the fall it will be the same school. The bus that picks up my little one goes to the elementary school. That is where some shuffling of kids takes place and everyone goes home. Somewhere, somehow there was no shuffling. As my daughter got off the bus, I realized my son was not on it and my phone started ringing telling me to pick him up at the elementary school where he was waiting for me. I was pretty unhappy. By the time I arrived I greeted the bus aide who now hates me with "I am really upset. How did this happen?" She responded in a fairly defensive way, but I did put her there. She relieved herself of any wrong doing saying that she did not know what his plan was. But I did send the paper back.   I tried to say in my heightened and frustrated voice that I was not blaming her, but I think my initial approach put her on a defense that I could not change.  Overall it was not a great conversation, and probably a moment in time I will always wish I could fix, but I can't. I did speak with the principal to share my frustration with the issue. I also mentioned in talking with the aide that I was quite upset.  It is upsetting when your child does not get off the bus.  However, I could have handled it better.  If I had approached in a calm manner and asked what happened it may have changed the scenario. But I did not, and I can't go back.  All I can do is try to do better next time. That is all we can ever do.  So to the person who I was unpleasant to. I am sorry that I behaved that way.  I was just upset about my child.

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