Yesterday was my birthday. It was the first birthday card in my life that only had my mother's name on it. It was strange to see it in writing. Not that I imagine that my father signed many birthday cards. I assume it was usually my mother, but to have it just be her name made my heart skip a beat.
Yesterday was the two month anniversary of his passing. I can't believe how fast it has gone by. Sometimes I am so busy that I just work, cook, organize, and surf the grief away. Then it floats back in reminding me that I can't ignore it. It must be dealt with. My father is gone, and no amount of cooking, working, organizing, or planning vacations that we probably shouldn't take will bring him back. It won't change the way things are. My father is gone. It is a new normal that I must contend with and process.